woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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