Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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