Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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