Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
this hospital has no fireball
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
