Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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