We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fuck appropriateness.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dont even know how to be here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
