in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
