Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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