It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
