Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Even my vagina gasped.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
