people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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