is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
