I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
