Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
