This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
