i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
