Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you had me at cake vodka
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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