just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
