no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
