You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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