I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And then my night got REAL pukey
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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