Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
