i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
