They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
