k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
