So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
