This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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