all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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