i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
