I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
