We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
