its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
