He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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