Duck Duck Cougar?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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