all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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