He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
