I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
