dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize