Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
