he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
