so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
