I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
