She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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