these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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