Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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