I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
