before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
