Your tits are I can't wait for
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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