Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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