I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can I color on your dick again?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
