i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
