she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
